Okay so I have never done this type of thing before. The only other time I’ve shared about my life is when I shared my past. Bare with me while I get used to talking about my life. So before I start these posts I need to give you a little update of where I have been because I have just recently return to twitter and my stories. I have also been streaming again but not on a consistent schedule. So where have I been you may ask. I’ve been on my bed.
I’m sure I have a couple of puzzled looks by now. No I didn’t spend my entire days in my bed but it has been my safe haven. I have spent most of my time at work doing doubles, working on school work, and spending time with the kids with little to no time for myself. So I’m not going to lie when I had a spare moment to myself I curled up on my bed and watched movies. If Doug got home from work early I went straight to my bed. It’s not my proudest moment but it happened just the same.
Doug was amazing through this period of time. He took on the housework and anything else that I asked of him. I put way too much on him but he still took care of it all while I was going through this rough patch. If you were wondering if I was depressed no. I needed a place to recharge and recoup from the days events. I am an introvert. So having no time to recoup from social interactions drained me to the point of exhaustion. So I ran to my bed, slept a lot, and disconnected from everything when I could.
I got back into the twitter world and my sim stories when I hurt my back. Which meant no more working doubles. More time to relax and recharge and I started not wanting to sit in my bed anymore. I also realized I couldn’t live in my bed the rest of my life. I gained 20 lbs and my health has been declining due to it. I am over weight as it is so adding another 20 lbs was not a ideal situation.
So I decided while on vacation to take my life back. I cleaned my computer desk and our bedroom. I started cleaning and organizing the rest of the house as well. I am starting a detox to help lower how much sugar I put into my body and to help me drink less coffee. I am starting an healthy eating plan and exercise plan. If I was able to exercise at PT then I can exercise at home.
So I will be sharing my daily life with you here with a post. Talking about how my day went and how I have been feeling. Also I have one more thing to share with you all. Through all this Doug has stuck by me and been there when I needed him. Even though we weren’t together. That man truly loves me and I don’t know why. I can be such a hot mess sometimes.
Most of you that read this know I left him because I felt more attraction for women than men. So I identified as a lesbian but I don’t think that is all that true. Yes when I see a good looking women I can’t help but stare with men it does not happen. Though I have realized I am still learning a lot about my sexuality. I’m 30 I should have this figured out but I don’t. I was never given the chance to explore it when I was younger due to my family up bringing. So as of right now I don’t identify as anything and I feel like I don’t want to. I have never been one to date based on looks or gender it has always been about the persons personalty and who they are as a person. I do admit I have dated a lot of men to appease my family and shut them up. Hence why the relationships didn’t last long. I didn’t date them because I liked them as a person I dated them so my family would be happy. Also in my younger years I was looking for validation and to feel wanted and love. I have now learned to love myself. You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.
The reason I am sharing this with you is because over these months of Doug being there for me and caring for me made me realize something. I love the man more than I care to admit sometimes. So where am I going with this. We are back together. I know I don’t want to ever lose him and I can’t imagine my life without him. So I asked him to get back together. I don’t think he ever stopped loving me and I don’t think he ever will. I am going to wrap this up it is pretty long as it is. I hope you enjoyed the back story and continue to read about my life, weight loss journey, and my family.
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